Naijahusband vs Highlandblue: The Rejoinder

You might want to read this first.

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Good evening listeners and viewers at home. Good day Mr moderator, impartial panel of judges, esteemed co-debaters and members of the general public.

I am here to argue for the motion that Naijahusband and Highlandblue are one and the same. It is hoped that my appeal to your higher rational faculties will be as succint as it is comprehensive.

The fact that most people are what they tweet is among the most absurd arguments ever to grace this revered podium. It is easily demonstrated that most people live boring lives and come on Twitter to find expression for their otherwise inhibited selves. The appeal to anonymity is a strong one, giving lesser mortals the opportunity to freely express views that would be frowned upon based on their perceived social status. It is true that people may be their tweets but this persona has as much bearing on the projected real life characters of those behind the Twitter handles as the shadow of a man has on the colour of his apparel and the countenance of his visage.

What I am saying is, it is very possible for one person to hurriedly project a quiet, real life introvert for a few uncomfortable minutes as Naijahusband and then log into his other account to tweet freely without fear and favour, as Uncle Efe is wont to do.

The overwhelming similarities between Naijahusband and Highlandblue have already been alluded to by my opponent. I will attempt to reveal the holes in my opponent’s reasoning with a few considerations of common sense.

Uncle Efe once tweeted regularly about Woji traffic especially in his single days. However, such complaints have all but ceased in the last five months, suggesting he may have moved to some new traffic free location. Coincidentally, the time of this move coincides with the birth of the Naijahusband persona in the Twitterverse and the Blogosphere. Do you still stubbornly believe in coincidences? I urge you to reconsider.

The difference in writing style between Naijahusband and Highlandblue is not even present. Uncle Efe owns a blog he hardly writes on, often instead provoking others to write in special series that run almost the entire year while he chips in his quiet footnotes and advice with little interference. The gentleness of both Highlandblue and Naijahusband is another so-called coincidence. To further buttress this point, the few times Uncle Efe has written on other blog series, notably on the Naked Convos, his stories have been deep, reflective ones (citation, Colour Purple in the monologues, Banga Soup in the Pounded Yam series, and Envy in Sins of the Father.) The odd sprinkling of understated humour is a mark of Highlandblue and Naijahusband, visible to even the most inelegant students of literature. Besides, could it be that Highlandblue hardly writes on his blog because he fully applies his literary skills on Naijahusband?

My opponent alluded to the fact that Uncle Efe may be an avid computer game lover, a football enthusiast and a strongly masculine engager of men. This is her description of a handle that many people sometimes mistake as female! I challenge her to cite a single tweet of Uncle Efe or a single picture or screen shot of Uncle Efe’s so-called computer games. She will even be at pains to name his favorite football club in the Premier League! From all tweet indications, Uncle Efe loves Tinsel, Fashion Police, Masterchef and America’s Next Top Model, most likely due to the extreme pressure of the assertive Naijawife.

The clincher for my argument is the persona of Naijawife herself. Being an expressive and outspoken woman, she may be loathe to operate two Twitter accounts as her husband does, preferring instead to be true to her offline extrovert personality. After all, an already outspoken person in real life would not need to have an outspoken outlet in form of a second Twitter account. While we might meet Uncle Efe offline and find him to be a quiet smiling Naijahusband, it is almost certain Naijawife will have an offline personality exactly as her tweets portray. The fact that Uncle Efe hardly tweets about his wife, despite the fact that he is happily married, might just be because he is already tweeting about her, but in the name of Naijahusband!!!!

I hope with these few points of mine I have laid to rest the debate and proven to all and sundry that Uncle Efe and Naijahusband are one and the same person.

Thank you for listening.

Naijahusband vs. Highlandblue

So many people have asked me if I’m Naijahusband. Well, Eloho my friend thinks it’s absurd that anyone would think so. Here’s her argument. Enjoy

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Good day Mr Moderator, Panel of Judges, Accurate Time Keeper, My Esteemed Readers and my very able co debaters, I am here today to argue against the motion that “Naijahusband (NH) is the same person as Uncle Efe.

Whilst not a few people on these WordPress and Twitter streets have put forward several propositions, adducing to the fact that NH and Uncle Efe are one and the same person, for reasons I am about to present herewith, I wish to present a contrary position and I hope that at the end of my summation, I would have been able to present a superior argument as to how both persons are not one and the same and convinced us all to adopt this superior argument as well.

I am quite aware that some persons maintain well-managed Twitter persona, contrary to their real offline personalities and are able to present oftentimes unconnected projections of themselves to other tweeps with whom they carry out consistent interactions. But I opine that the skill is quite rare and with time, one is actually what they tweet.The tweets convey some weight, and a reflection to some extent of who the handlers really are. It may be very well managed as has been discovered around here in recent times, but to a large extent, over a measured period, each individual is their tweet/blog posts.

I assert that Uncle Efe is not Naijahusband for the following reasons

First, Uncle Efe is clearly of the Niger Delta extraction, first by reason of his name and then by reason of his expression and background to which he adduces quite often. He is someone who likely was schooled somewhere in the ‘Bendel’ region. Naijahusband is clearly of the Yoruba extraction and NaijaWife (NW) adduced to same without any equivocation in her post ‘In Sickness and in Health’ . It is unlikely that NH has spent much time in the Bendel zone.

Secondly, Uncle Efe resides in the Oil City of Port Harcourt as his traffic analysis via his tweets would reveal. NH likely resides in Abuja, seeing as his posts never seem to reflect the bustle of Lagos and considering that it takes him relatively few minutes to get to work as is reflected in his Shower post.

Thirdly, Uncle Efe is a more extroverted character, often times introducing conversations or being involved in conversations with an effervescent personality. NH is more introverted, deep and introspective as his tweets and posts reveal.

Fourthly, NH is rarely on the Twitter street corners, and when he is there, he is deliberate, responds to a few tweets and appears as though he can’t wait to sign out and meet his friends via his blog. Uncle Efe is here sometimes from early in the day and has a very visible twitter presence. He creates conversations from random tweets and tweets during the day. A rarity for NH except when there is a new post.

NH is clearly not a very ‘whatsup’ guy. He may not know who the latest star on the streets is and like NaijaWife’s tweets present,  he is very comfortable knowing some things last especially where they concern random events like a movie star or a pop star. Uncle Efe is clearly more hands on as definitely reflected in his tweets. Uncle Efe may be a PS4 playing guy who has no challenge spending some time taking on another guy playing games. NH may likely be the footie watching, no games guy.

On another note, clearly, Uncle Efe and NH both share aligned family values amidst other very admirable traits which are likely premises for the position of my opposition, but their language is very different. NH is formal oftentimes with a dash of rich humour whilst Uncle Efe is consistently more informal and vivacious on twitter. NH is way more expressive behind the lines that his posts present; shinning the most through his posts whilst NW reflects a more public facing tweet persona for the streets.

I hope with these very few points of mine, I have been able to convince and not confuse you that NH and Uncle Efe are not one and the same person, on twitter or off twitter.

Thank you.

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Any opposing arguments? LOL

There may be a rejoinder argument to this later today or tomorrow 🙂

Happy New Year: Efe

*walks into limelight in abandoned theatre*

I’m not really able to identify a theme for my 2013. I can’t even summarize it but I’m very eager to talk about certain aspects of it.

Love life

At the beginning of this year I was four months into my married life. You know how they say plenty things about the first two years. Some people say they don’t count because you’re still too much in love in the honeymoon stage. Others say they don’t count because you both are getting to know each other and resolving differences. Well, mine was a bit of both. I learnt early that the communication between my wife and I was a trophy I had to fight to keep.

There are several reasons not to talk to each other. The other person may not be listening. The other person may not care. The other person may use it against you. The other person may joke about it behind your back. The other person may take it personally or the wrong way. These were the enemies I had to fight all this year. I didn’t want to fall into the husband zone. Yes, my brothers, there is such a thing as the husband zone. You could get into this routine of just existing to watch shows, eat meals, say good morning and good night, and do the occasional copulation without any intimacy between you and your wife. And this is the advanced form of the friend zone we all struggled to escape when we were still single, that zone where you can’t see past the curtain in the eyes of your crush because she’s reserved her affections for someone else presumably better than you. So, fight for intimacy we both did this year and I can say we succeeded tremendously. Phew!

Work

Last year I spoke about how I planned to step up and be more assertive at the office. Well, it turns out I wasn’t assertive enough until my boss pointed it out again. I was a silent rebel against the competitive atmosphere I found at work, thinking myself different from everyone and that I needed to maintain that core of difference to be a catalyst of positive change. This needs balance. Because you can’t really change an organization unless they accept and respect you. And they won’t accept and respect you unless you speak their core language to some extent. If you aren’t ready to speak the core language, Efe, then you’re in the wrong place.

When this dawned on me I took coaching from my supervisor and my younger brother and stepped up my game in the last two months of the year. My supervisor was pleased and said if I continued like that the sky would be the limit. Sadly this year, he won’t be my supervisor anymore as he’s been transferred. Just when I learn the ropes they change the rules. Sighs.

Volleyball

I think I became a mini star in my volleyball team at the sports club. Mind you these are some of the best players in Nigeria (I always laugh when a newcomer joins claiming to be very good and they can’t even return a service properly). We went for like five competitions this year and we won some and lost some. I think I’m stronger in the attack (7.5), and medium in defence and service game (6.5 each). I’m aiming to build my muscles for an 8.5 in attack, a 7.5 in defensive play and a 9.5 in power serves. This means more practice but I think this is fine. I don’t know why I want to be a volleyball star. Not like I’m going to go to the Olympics or anything. Or wait, what’s the age limit for volleyball in the Olympics?! Beach volleyball perhaps? 😀

Gadgets

The Samsung S4 strolled into my life this year. I bought the international version (heard the octo-core one was buggy and rubbish with battery life. Plus, the international one has LTE). I found the apps on the phone not satisfactory for performance. I wonder sometimes, do Samsung people use their devices and compare them with the opposition for performance? The functionality and potential of the Samsung flagship is great (stream wirelessly to your smart tv, take impossible photos, upgrade your battery to three times installed capacity, and control all Samsung devices worldwide at will). But, can these apps and things work smoothly without interrupting the daydream by forced closures and thinking episodes?! Please!

The Samsung Galaxy Note 8 came into my life in the latter part of the year. I found the expandable memory useful for mindless copying and downloading (had to get a 64 gig memory card) and the battery life was fair (charge everyday). The swag was the main factor as all my notes and meeting minutes were bleeding fast without any need for point repetition or delays to transfer from handwritten notes to electronic text. I swype faster than I write and even if I wanted to write, the handwriting to text feature is beyond belief. If you can read your writing, it is accurately transcribed to text. It’s amazing.

I’m moving towards Nexus devices though. I want to see what they have to offer. I handled the new iPhone and iPod iterations. Not ready to be locked in Apple’s jail so I put them down. I won’t even bother upgrading my 4th gen iPod.

Faith

I put this last because though it was the most important of all things this year, most times I relegated it to last position. The Lord is my shepherd and because of this He interrupted my life many times to correct me or teach me how to go about stuff to glorify Him and to ease my life and bless others around me. (I’ve begged Him to do this whenever it’s necessary). But what would happen if instead of waiting to be pulled back to the fold from the jaws of the wolf every time, I simply kept step with Him every day? In August I tried reading a chapter of the biblical book of Proverbs for every day of the month. I missed three days and I was hard pressed every day to do this simple task. I started and ended the year without finishing the book of Exodus in my general reading. Prayer was a random thing done unconsciously whenever I needed help or wisdom. I did virtually no formal personal devotions this year. This I sincerely hope to change in 2014.

So there you have it, my 2013 review and my hopes for 2014. Pray for me guys. Also, please read every single review my friends wrote in the series HERE. You’ll be blessed.

Much love everybody. Here’s to an amazing and fruitful 2014 🙂

P.S.: My Doctor friend said to give her a birthday shoutout today. Happy birthday Amanda!