Dusk: Chychy

If you’re reading this, it means I was finally able to extricate myself from my Corporate Law Practice books to write this…
     
          

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  
             I have summoned you by name; you are mine             
             When you pass through the waters  
             I will be with you   
             And when you pass through the rivers   
             They will not sweep over you   
              When you walk through the flames,   
               You will not be burned”- Isaiah 42:1-2  

2013 started with me writing down my prayer points and dropping the piece of paper in my dust filled, forgotten Bible. At this point, I was desperate and had given him an ultimatum; do these things for me or just let me come home. All I wanted was to laugh and not be called a liar. Let’s just say God had other plans, the drama King that he is.

You see, my mother had warned me on the 1st of January to either go back to school or get married. Not just through direct entry but to write UTME. Both were not going to happen but I couldn’t blame her for doing that. I hadn’t fully graduated because one of my lecturers held up my results and having to beg him to release it was proving to be a problem. One of the days I went up to his office, I was asked to meet him at a hotel AGAIN. This was the same reason my result was being held up but I knew I had to do something about it this year.

I called up a couple of friends, told them what happened and before I could ask, they said they were going to pray with and for me. I took myself to a Bible believing church (for the first time in about a year) and dropped my burdens at the Master’s Feet, telling him exactly what I wanted and how. God is amazing, because the next day, I went to the man’s office with my signed result waiting for me to send to my department. I watched it enter the hands of the lecturer in charge of results who said to me, “finally. I don’t know how you did it but whoever did it for you must be very powerful enough to influence Dr ___’s decision to let you graduate. Congratulations”. How could I have explained that The One who holds the hearts of kings in his hands was responsible? From then on, everything became a rush as I finished my clearance and got my statement of results.  

        

God is not a man that he should lie,    
       Nor a son of man that he should change his mind,    
       Does he speak and then not do it?     
        Does he promise and not fulfill?- Numbers 23:19  

I got admission into the Nigerian law school. That in itself is another miracle. During the mandatory medicals as part of the admission process, I was diagnosed with Tuberculosis. The day I got the test, I laughed. Hard. So hard, the doctor thought I had lost my mind. There was no way I was going to let the devil see how scared I was. I downplayed the result to my family and friends but I knew I wasn’t going to hide it for long. I took myself to my Father again. Reminded him of his promises and told him I was going back for a re-test. I did. It came back negative. Not like there was a mistake in the first test but it was obvious a healing had taken place. God had proved himself again. Time to pay the school fees came and I had no idea where the money was going to come from but the day I told Him I was ready to pay, I did. So far, school has been amazing. Stressful, but His Grace has been sufficient.

This year came with a lot of lessons about me. I learnt how strong I can be when I allow myself to. I learned that I actually have the capacity to love and for that, I am grateful.

To Kola, I’m grateful for you. I can sleep easy knowing that you have my back.
To Jan, the best man anyone can ask for. I love you. Always will.   

 

But I trust in your unfailing love;    
My heart rejoices in your salvation- Psalm 13:5

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Sister, testify!!!!

Day 10: Mike

There are times when almost nothing seems to go right. the year 2013 was one of those. At times it felt like my arms had been cut off and the year was throwing nonstop punches. It felt worse than it actually was because this was a year I started with so many expectations.

The first few months were a blur. School felt like a Nazi Concentration camp, I had difficulty getting accommodation, there was no electricity or water for a few weeks, the room I was staying in was burgled, everything of value that I owned was stolen, and I went back to using a Blackberry. It was grueling. Then we had tests that I thought I was prepared for. Apparently I was not.

While the challenges of school went on, both my parents had health scares. My normal routine became even harder to manage. Smiling and laughing became difficult. When these things were happening I actually believed that I was being strong, holding it together. In retrospect, what I felt was a mix of fear and resignation, not strength.

After all that had happened, I was understandably relieved when ASUU announced that they were closing my school. I had expected it to be 2 weeks out of the rat race. A month, if they dragged it out for too long. If December ends before the strike does I’ll have been at home for 6 months. So far, it has been 5 months of stagnancy. 5 months of wondering where my life is headed, of being depressed because of how hopeless the situation seems at times.

Last year, because of a relatively free schedule, I took many long walks and spent hours reflecting on life and living. Being home throughout the latter half of this year, however, I have learnt that the disadvantages of excessiveness always manifest, even when we are doing something good. The introspection that used to elucidate has now left a haze (that I pray is not permanent) over parts of my faith and beliefs.

Of course, it wasn’t always terrible. This year I have met, spoken to and/or observed some very interesting people. I have also done more than just speaking with a few of them. My tolerance levels are higher now, I’m also a little more sociable.

I’m grateful for my family (especially my parents and grandparents and their health) and the people around me. Grateful for journey mercies throughout the year. Grateful for life.

Going into a new year, I want to put the difficulties and disappointments that marred this year aside and start anew. I could do with a good year and that is what I’m hoping for in 2014.

“Hope springs eternal in the human breast,

Man never is, but always to be blessed:

The soul, uneasy and confined from home,

Rests and expatiates in a life to come.”

– Alexander Pope.

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The quietness of this post… I think strength is what you described. Many times the ability to quietly look life in the eye while keenly feeling all it has to throw at you is enough strength in itself. Thank you for this, Mike. You are stronger than you think.