Day 8: Tiana

2013, This is where we say goodbye. It has been the fastest yet most lessons filled of all my years.

2013 was filled with lots of firsts:

After working for myself for many years…First full time paid employment. It was nothing like I imagined. I’m thinking it may be my last.

First full year as a wife.. Filled with lots of learning phases. Alot I wish I could undo but on second thought, I’m grateful that these lessons came early on in marital life since there’s still forever ahead of me.

Attempts at curtailing life long habits and building character were foremost on my mind. A message I heard pretty much sums up my resolve by the end of 2013.

“Quit wanting to be (like) someone else. Love life.. Love you.”… Just as I am. That same way God saw me and loved me. He found me valuable. So I only care to strive to be the best of me.

In the same vein “Quit trying to change other people.”…. to become like you or what you expect of them.

I was sad alot at the beginning of the year. Mad at myself and some loved ones, confused, full of regrets… because some of my adventurous sacrifices against my better judgement had become disasters. For all the anger, pain and sadness I felt in the year, this was the answer I needed.

With every time I thought about this, it got more surprising, that me, a human whom Jesus chose to die for without reservation and God took in and loved, in all my filth, would suddenly become selective of whom I could love. So I stopped praying to God to change the people in my life. Because it’s not in my place to decide whether or not their behaviour is appropriate. Also because trying to change them to fit my standards means I think of myself as better than them. I really doubt God likes that. So instead, I chose to work on myself, to be more accommodating and daily I literally felt my heart enlarge, making room for more. Even Apostle Paul said he became all things to all men. Armed with this view to life, living became a breeze. And gradually, my mind could no longer easily recognise the seemingly big issues that could cause misunderstanding.

Daily I become more fascinated by the diversity of the human behaviour. And how interesting learning to appreciate people the way they are can be. Because our expectations can be limited, in these people I find a whole new exciting journey with unexpected twists and turns.

It’s so easy to disconnect mentally when something isn’t exactly as you ‘planned’. My new attitude can be likened to this scenario: Instead of sulking that one has a lover who wouldn’t send roses ‘just because it’s Tuesday’ like a ‘regular’ lover boy would, I’m more determined to sit back and bask in the unusual expression of love from another mind that isn’t (like) mine. It is in His infinite wisdom that the creator thought to make us differently. To make life more interesting.

Keep Calm and Mind Your Own Business.
“If you mind other people’s business, you’ll never be happy. Quit judging other people. Ignore their wrongs and mind your own business. Frustrated lives abound when you make other people’s lives yours business. The more you do, the more you judge them“… the less your ability to love.

I finally embraced the knowledge that love is a verb. I don’t stumble on love.. I do love. Love is intentional.
That has led me to my first proclamation with full knowledge.. I’m in love. With myself, my world, my husband…
Everyday I’m especially grateful for a special someone to lavish all the love my heart can muster on. In putting a smile on his face , I find my happiness and fulfilment.

I thought having a baby would be just a good distraction. Then I got a first chance… a glimpse into how truly happy I’ll be to be a mum.. πŸ™‚

PASTOR : “Welcome to 2013, It’s our year of favour.”

CONGREGATION: “Glory!!!”

On hearing those first few words at the beginning of the Year,  I started out with really high hopes.
Did I receive favour? I think my scope of favour was limited and the one who saw the Year ahead and knew exactly what I’ll need to sail through, positioned new relationships that matured me speedily at the various points which unanticipated tests came.

Times when all seemed bleak, with only streaks of confusion in sight. I made a new friend in May..This friend was really all my soul needed to unlock new levels of my existence like a game of candy crush.

Now the year is coming close to an end and I feel born anew. No pain, no hurt..just immense gratitude to God.
As an ‘Olivia’ Twist, I like a double portion of everything good. So if they say the number 7 connotes perfection, then I’d like double. Double perfection… that’s what I envisage in 2014. #I’mDeep #I’mDeep #PleaseDon’tArgue

The favour for me this year was in being able to build a foundation for the greatness that is to come in the Year 2014 and beyond.

And Oh, my First car came this year too. :’) Goodbye to high cab fares, sharing a car with the hubs, sticky sweaty bodies rubbing mine in tight buses, wavering ‘keke marwas’, and risky ‘okadas’ rides in some cases.
Where there’s life, there’s hope that assures me, that the ups, downs, and losses were just to help prepare me for the successes ahead.

Cheers to the new year. *pours water in wine glass* #Fitfam

“We can find good in anything/anyone.. it usually only takes keen interest. ”

– Tiana

===================================

Twitter crush be like a candy crush. Tiana is all sweetness and light but let’s just say she’s glossed over some deep stuff that she went through this year. To write this like this at all to me is a huge victory in itself. Girl, I’m all for the double of portion of graaaaacccceeee you asked for in 2014. Amen

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24 thoughts on “Day 8: Tiana

  1. swtchic says:

    There’s alot I can learn from this message for my own life in the new year. Thank you

  2. madini says:

    I usually dont leave comments but the writer managed to say so much about the woes of this year yet not say so much and still sounds so happy. I want her spirit. Beautiful

  3. Jk_McDazzles says:

    It’s easy to like this girl. Wayyyyyy too easy..

    I marvel at your spirit, your emotional strength, through everything that happened during the year..
    I honestly have no doubt that where you’re concerned, it’s only uphill from here. It’s only uphill. It’s only uphilll..

  4. Lamide says:

    Bye bye pain, hello beautiful life. Amen. Love you girl..

  5. Mz_Shadee says:

    I LOVE YOU MRS S. I probably don’t say it to you, but I love u with all my heart. U are so full of wisdom! No wonder u d d first person I talk to when i’m down. And the fact that i’m 6 years older (visibly hotter and finer) * I’m sorry I had to. -_____-* does not matter. U r just full of wisdom and I’m proud to call u sister.

    • tiana says:

      LMAO I love you more! Thank you for the kind words. :’) :’) :’)

      Oshey hot Otabor, please dont forget to bring your ‘hotness’ along when next you’re coming to my house. No food for you. Just start to chop am. *Rme*
      NB : Cuz I’m nice, you have 24hrs to take that statement back.

      • Mz_Shadee says:

        LOL warri woman.
        I’m sorry 😦
        Can I have sea food okro when I come? Thank u and God bless u in advance.

  6. tiana says:

    Thank you all for reading and the thoughtful coments. πŸ™‚

  7. anagail says:

    LOL. Thank you for the message sister Tope. I shall pray for the holy spirit to reveal to me some of those things that Efe spoke about. LOL. But really this sounded like ministration. waiting for you to open your own ministry. well done πŸ™‚

  8. Clarion says:

    I’m with Madini on this- you managed to say so much and not gloss over the issues yet sound so happy. Thank God for happy days πŸ™‚
    And congrats on the car!

  9. Tip says:

    Tope(s) can be optimistic for the planet. Don’t hate, it’s what our name signifies.
    Wonderful piece, I tap into the 2014 double perfection theory. Glory!!!

  10. Agba-Akin Moruff says:

    It must be a good read going by the comment here. I will read it around 3am (AM). That is the best time my mum (RIP) talk senses into my head. I have not called you mummy BTW… I may be on a journey along the wisdom valley.

  11. Agba-Akin Moruff says:

    ***Comments*** Now, you see why I read at midnight? Lol…

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