Dusk: Ire

Happy Birthday to me!

 

Yes. It’s my birthday!

 

*insert your goodwill messages here*

 

Awww. Thank you very much, that’s sweet of you.

 

Hi. Her name is Ire

…and this is/was her 2013.

 

I nearly died at the beginning of this year.

I was ready to go.

Life had paused.

 

She had become her insides.

Her insides had become all of her.

Skin was melting away.

All one could see? Bones.

 

Tamela Mann || Take Me To The King

 

She was ready to go in January

She was ready to quit in February

Her newfoundland

Her career

Her first life

Her first attempt

She did

To leave behind love discovered in February

Love, newly discovered

Love, growing within her

Within him

Stronger

She did

She died

A million and one deaths

We said goodbye to her in April

We gave birth to a new lady in May

 

Kelly Clarkson || Stronger

 

She leaped.

Haha no. She crawled first, of course

She found strength in Bankole.

Her friend, her confidant

She found strength in Tolulope.

Her friend, her nigga

She found laughter in Ore

Her buddy, her tirinbeku nigga

She found strength in Funlola

Her sweetness, her sis

She found comfort in Valerie

Her sunshine, her roses

She found rest in Veronica

Her support, her sister

She found love, again, in Adeyemi

Her… man

She discovered that the only power fear had

Was the one she gave it.

She stopped feeding her fears.

They became skinny, like she had been.

They became empty, hungry, more vicious.

Louder

And then…

A vacuum

So, she replaced fear

With trust, with faith, with love

She learned to let go

To forgive

She still hasn’t learnt forgetting.

 

Hezekiah Walker – Timiney Figueroa || Calling My Name

 

She misses him

Everyday

She tries to go to his house, once a week.

There are too many people there.

She’s too busy giving them food, water

Too busy to see him

He called her once

“Martha, Martha, thou art anxious, and troublest thyself about many things”

She keeps going tho’

She needs to be there.

Always

She keeps bringing people to the entrance

She keeps showing them the way

She refuses to go in.

Maybe, 2014

If there is a 2014

She found a path in a well

She got in

She climbed up and out of the well

Now, she’s walking into a desert

A desert with oases

Biggest Girl

Not really, she still weighs less than 65kg

Which is fine

The fit life needs to be lived

 

Happy Birthday to me

Goodbye 2013

 

2014, how bodi?

 

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I hardly know Ire and she hardly said anything definite here. But somehow reading this I feel like I know her and as if she said it all. Slightly confused about how that’s possible. Happy birthday dear Ire. Much love

 

Day 2: Deola

Our writer today allows us peep a letter she wrote to herself this year. Enjoy 🙂

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Dear Deola,

First of all, Happy birthday! You are 23 years old now! Whoa! Your mates are married with kids now, you better get started on that baby making!

Okay, I kid, I kid.

You are probably reading this in bed, drunk off some insanely good wine and fending calls off from your numerous admirers (your mom, dad and maybe Edwin, he may not be awake Eastern Time). Well, listen up! You may be crying and sad that a year has gone by and you have nothing to show for it. But I’m here to tell you the exact opposite. So, dust those cookie crumbs off your chest, put down the wine and listen to how great 2013 was.

2013 was fantastic. I mean it. You had an amazing year and it couldn’t get any better. I mean, January came with meeting Zandile Blay, your fashion and beauty journalism professor that taught you so much about the industry and life. She may or may not be your mentor – you’re confused about that – but knowing her is going to be awesome for you. It’s basically the reason why you decided to move back home.

(more on that later)

Then you got a boyfriend. Those familiar feelings of butterflies and other creepy crawlies cluttered your tummy and your judgment. You made several bad calls with this one. I mean, niggah didn’t call you for a week! Niggah would ignore you for 7 whole days and come back with a wack ass apology and leave you angry, depressed and upped your murderous tendencies. I know you are the kind of girl to dedicate your heart and soul to a relationship, no matter how awful it is. It’s a great thing but it is horrible when the person you are dedicating yourself to doesn’t want you back. So boo, do not think you deserve dirt. I know you get lonely and sad but one day, your prince in shiny tin foil will sweep you off your feet and on to his okada.

You have a masters degree!!! That alone should be enough to get your blood pumping. You got a masters degree in journalism (online and magazine journalism) from the top school of journalism. They call your school the Harvard of journalism! So please, clap for yourself and hold that degree tight. It is the one of the great things in your arsenal you have over all those other ‘fashion journalists’ in Nigeria. You have a huge dream of being a digital director of a magazine in Nigeria. You will get that job and kick ass at it.

Let’s see … what else did I leave out?

Oh yes! You’re moving back to Nigeria. You originally dreamed of working in NYC and living in SoHo but after getting lost for 3 hours on the streets of NYC, you changed your mind. I admire your courage and strength. I mean, you are going to leave America, the land of free wifi, constant light and water and too much food to move to Nigeria where there is no starbucks. Think deeply now, do you want to live in a world with no vanilla bean frappes? You are probably crying at the thought of it right now but wipe your eyes, you will develop another addiction soon enough.

You made the decision to move back for a reason. You want to make a difference in Nigeria. It will be hard. It will be tough. But you got the chops to do it. So I trust you. As I said before, you are gonna kick ass and make a name.

Did I mention how well OmogeMuRa is doing? See, I know you never imagined a life where you writing about pretty clothes would get you anywhere but life, my dear, is full of surprises. OmogeMuRa got you recognized on the street! It got you to go to Africa Fashion Week NY and SIT FRONT ROW. You were invited to Christian Sirano’s press day! You have worked with legit brands (Wraby Parker for example) and you got to meet and talk to so many awesome people. Oh, you got nominated for a Nigerian Blog Award. How fricking awesome is that? So, stop fretting over analytics and who is not reading your blog. Look at who is reading it, who is talking about it and pay for a two-year domain package because I see OMR in your life for a very long time.

Oh and OmogeMuRa got you on TV. Do I need to say more?

You legit need to give Edwin and Michi a fricking award for being the best best friends. Edwin was there for you though the breakup, the shitty assignments and the tears you cried because you thought you were ugly and fat (you lost a lot of weight by the way, good for you). Michi on the other hand, is so beautiful and inspiring and awesome and just … amazing. She would sit on skype with you for hours, doing nothing and saying nothing. Those are the best friendships, the kind where you don’t need to fill the silence with talk. Please call her or skype with her and just thank her. Your 2013 would have been nothing without her and her adventures of mimosas, French children and girl talk.

Feel better now? Good. ‘Cause this is just 2013. 2014 promises to better. I won’t lie and say it will be all roses and butterflies but the only way you can go is up now. You will have cloudy days. You will have those days where you are so sad and angry you just want to hide and wear a color darker than black. But I promise you, it will get better. So, drink that heavenly wine that has gotten you so drunk and make 2014 the best year of your life (that was an American Authors reference by the way. They are a really awesome band)

 

Love and hugs and kisses and loubs,

Deola Adebiyi in web design class

 

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Deola has managed to remain positive in spite of so much. In my mind, she’s the classic case of “It gets darker before it gets brighter.” Keep cat walking girl 🙂