I look at the blank white space below the word above as it sits all lonely at the top of my page. I wonder how I am meant to fill it up describing something I feel so central to my core and yet find so hard to express or communicate. So much love in the world, so little true friendship.

Do you know the person sitting next to you? Do you know the story behind their tears or their laughter? Do you know their struggles and what they’ve been through? Do you? Should you care? Is it your business? True, you have your struggles too. You have your fish to fry and your axes to grind. They may not even ask that much about you or how you’re doing. They may not care about where you stand or sit or lie. In fact, they may be happier walking past you when you fall because it proves to them that they are not the worst people in the world and somehow soothes their battered self-esteem.

Your efforts to be a friend may even have backfired or blown up in your face. Yes, you may have tried to mediate in a conflict or tried to do the right thing and been rewarded for your efforts with ridicule and public loss of face. You may even have been reminded of your own failings in your attempt to advise a person you thought was a friend. That was the collateral damage in this war.

But was it really worth it? What were you fighting for in this cold war? What did you want? What did you set out to achieve?

The bond of friendship


The crutch of companionship


The blanket of belonging


The balm of camaderie


The whispers of soul conversations


The spring of shared joy


The well of shared sorrow


The hand hold of fellowship


The embrace of random family


The helping hand in the drowning deluge of depression


The shore to the stranded swimmer at sea


The beacon, lifeboat and flare in this stormy sea called life


This is why you left the comfort of your home, this is why you set forth at dawn.



Dedicated to my friend Abigail.



Make your motions and cast your votes,
but God has the final say. (Prov. 16 vs. 33, The Message)


11 thoughts on “Found

  1. Aarinolaoluwa says:

    Initially, it was the blanket of belonging but later, The spring of shared joy and the well of shared sorrows. ( Which I barely ever share.. 😦 I prefer to listen than share).
    In the end? There’s not a friend like a lowly Jesus, No not one, No not one… *Sips chilled garri water*

  2. Abigail says:

    I was thinking, you are the friend. Thank you for this. Someday, soon I hope, I will feel like I have been a friend to you too.

    Meanwhile that word sat lonely for a bit and then as you started typing and it wasn’t lonely anymore…Thats what your friendship does to me. LOL.

  3. Ebun Oluwole says:

    All of a sudden i miss my ex-bestie. *sobs

  4. Sapphire Sawyer says:

    Oh Friendship! This post reminded me of one of C.S Lewis quotes that I love so much. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

  5. Emerald says:

    The blanket of belonging and The beacon, lifeboat and flare in this stormy sea called life.

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