Day 4: Toyin

2012 was my year of Emancipation and Self discovery… My first year of independence, me making the rules and boundaries, my transition into adulthood…

Thinking back to the 1st of january, sitting on my bed and writing in my diary (that was the last time I wrote in there) Had everything planned out, had a clear picture of who I would be and where I would be by December. However, nothing happened as planned; things changed, situations were different.

I did my youth service this year, and instead of completing it in Taraba, where I was posted, I got redeployed to Benin Edo State. I served along side some girls that made my service year all shades of amazing. It was a wonderful time, filled with joy, sadness, love, “beef”, pain, fun and what have you.

The independence, O my, finally! No parents, no school, no preying eyes of neighbours and family. I was free! So free!!!! I could do what I liked, when I liked, how I liked and with who I liked! What more could a girl ask for?

My year of a couple of firsts. I partied and drank so much, got bored of partying in Benin and went to Warri for something different πŸ˜€ Tried almost everything… I mean who was there to caution me but myself? Sometimes it all got into my head that I almost messed things up, tiptoed dangerously close to lines I drew for myself but thank God for self discipline, and by his grace I didn’t do anything I regret.

Was it fun all the way? Nah… Far from that! Very very far! There were times I hated my life so much that I wanted to give up on everything and throw all the caution to the wind. Times friends hurt me so much that what I felt could be likened to what Jesus felt when he was betrayed by Judas, so sad at times that I searched earnestly for something to be happy about. I felt so cheated and used by family and friends that I doubted my worth. I was so let down and disappointed by people that I cried like a baby! I felt so cold and alone at some point that I thought even God didn’t care about me. Those that committed suicide and cut themselves felt like kindred.

I put on a happy face through all this that it was hard to believe that that all this was on the inside. Through this, I learnt I’m not just any other being. I understood I was made to stand out in the world, to make a mark in the lives of those around me in one way or the other, to put smiles on the faces of people because there is hope for tomorrow. I learnt never to change my principles or lower my standards for anyone in my life.

I always looked forward to the happy moments where all the pain and sadness would seem like a lifetime ago. Some wonderful friends came through when I needed them the most and encouraged me to keep going when all I wanted to do was give up. My family also stood up for me and with me. And God, my ever present help, even in my unfaithfulness, was beyond faithful. He raised from the “littlest” of persons to people in high places to be of help to me, sprung up wonderful surprises when all seemed dark, provided for me when all hope was lost and always kept me safe no matter where I was.

I learnt so much this year, about who I am, my values, life, God, friends and relationships. Met so many interesting people that have in one way or the other helped shape my thinking into what it is today. Even if things did not go according to the guidelines I set down in January, I still feel fulfilled and accomplished.

2012 has to be one of the best years of my life. A year defined by those unforgettable precious moments that seemed little and insignificant but made the most difference.

I can’t wait for 2013! I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be amazing, because there’s so much greatness that has been deposited and nurtured in me up till this moment that I cannot wait to start expressing myself.

Efe thanks for this opportunity, you have been a blessing to me in more ways than one :* God bless you.

Shout to my number one girl, Okaima (@kimeclectic). Thanks for being you, you the best! Thanks for helping out with this :*

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and a very fruitful new year in advance!

==================================

See me waiting in vain for the word boyfriend to pop up in this post. Lol Thank you Toyin.

Raji will continue the parade of extraordinary females tomorrow on here at noon. See you!Β  πŸ™‚

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16 thoughts on “Day 4: Toyin

  1. @kunbillionaire says:

    This is too vague o, see me looking for details. This could be about anybody’s year. Highs n lows n everything in between.
    What did u experiment with. What lines did u come close to. Dat u don’t regret dsnt mean squat.
    I didn’t write cos I didn’t feel I cd open up, u chose to write so u shd hv been more open.

  2. oluwachick (toyin) says:

    As there is no boyfriend nko? *rme

  3. uchay says:

    And my name is not here…why??? πŸ™‚

  4. Dayo Fowodu says:

    Toyin this is beautifully written. I loved it dear:). I like the honesty as well. I always say that transparency is such a breath of fresh air in writing:). You are a good writer however I think there’s always room for improvement (like in everything in life). Keep practicing and don’t stop journalling in your diary (its a psychologically healthy practice and good for aspiring writers as well). My first time of reading a post by you and I must say, I’m so impressed and delighted that my younger sis has a flair for writing as well. I’m glad you learnt a lot this year. The year isn’t over so I’m sure you will still have wonderful things to learn, to write about and to be grateful to God for in Jesus name. As for the boyfriend comment your friend put, pls no rush oh, take your time till the best in the field finds you (that’s if you haven’t been found yet…β„“β˜Ίβ„“ because I smell a rat oh)…just kidding jare, I trust you dear. I’m sure you know that courtship is a better & godly alternative to the whole dating “trial & error” cycle. Ok let me not start here…β„“β˜Ίβ„“. Sorry to the owner of this blog for my long comment….β„“β˜Ίβ„“. Its hard to leave a short note sometimes:). I’ll come around to check out your blog from time to time:).

  5. Joy says:

    breath of fresh air…glad to know that the year was great for you. That said, ‘regret’ is an evil word. don’t use it, don’t do it lol. I didn’t do anything I regret Kinda implies ” at least i didnt go that far…”. great you didn’t but what if you did? We Spend many years drawing lines and when we step over(as often happens), spend many years regretting? Good to have principles and all but they shouldn’t define what you ‘regret’ or ‘not regret’.
    I think the Bible word for Regret is Repent

  6. Glory says:

    I have to agree this is really vague. You write well though and I’m happy the year turned out good for you πŸ™‚

  7. tutu says:

    My name is Adetutu Ogunmakin. Toyin Ojeniyi Aduke erin Omotoyosi Mama T etc I was expecting 2 see my name here. U just broke my heart *sad face* but I’m proud of u gal. U re becoming a woman wiv each passing moment. Love u boo. Wonderful post. Ps: Okaima can’t steal u 4rm me πŸ™‚

  8. Jk_McDazzles says:

    Some comments here can easily be added to the bible – Maybe Rome II – I’m sleep cuh.

    Hmmn..I actually agree with kunbillionaire..
    I like happy stories and this is a happy one.
    And Toyin, we see you trying to rub your beer-chug parties in our faces. *rme*
    πŸ™‚

  9. J.E. Parker says:

    I’m glad I met you this year Toyin; that a quiet girl who was in my Leadership Development class would now become such a great friend.. You’re special. Keep your head focused and your eye on the prize. Peace of mind over everything..

    • oluwachick says:

      We both know am not so quiet… πŸ˜€ appreciate I met you too and thanks for the advice. Yup! Peace of mind over everything πŸ˜‰

  10. […] I wrote my 2012 review (HERE), I was so looking forward and very excited about the new year. However with the arrival of 2013, I […]

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