Just Before Dawn: Ife

I would not have come in contact with Ife (@Isysart) but for this blog challenge. For her, this year was like a thief in the dark night…

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As much as I would love to display my prowess in creative writing, this tale does nothing but dampen the urge.
So I’ll dive right in…

2011 has been a disaster from the very beginning. I lost faith in everything and everyone. It has been the worst year of my life!

I started this year with hope, joy and excitement but 19 days later I was sitting on my doorstep waiting for my mother’s corpse to arrive.
Death had paid me a visit, haven overlooked my family for soo long.
Who’ve thought my mum would die two weeks after her 50th birthday. My beautiful mum.

My life ended that day, death had picked on me and forced me to play the guessing game of who dies next! I felt like I was in an episode of final destination. A month later my baby shook hands with death, then my step mum, then my brother!
Yes this has been a year of loss, despair, depression and sorrow!

I tried hard but couldn’t find a reason to go on. Tried to take my life twice, almost succeeded but death just wouldn’t have me.
*sigh* instead we played hide and seek while  I drove myself to d point of insanity and back.

I am now a shadow of myself, a ghost of who I ought to be, struggling to escape the darkness that engulfs me. Indifference plagues my reality and I wait patiently for this year to end.
The sad thing is, even if I heal, the scars will ever be etched in my memory, the nightmares will always be the same, and the lives I’ve lost can never be replaced.

P.S. I still await what good this year might bring.

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Be extra vigilant, girl. Hold your lamp out. The night is often darkest just before dawn. God bless you for speaking so freely about something you obviously haven’t shared like this before. (((hugs)))

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12 thoughts on “Just Before Dawn: Ife

  1. datibogurl says:

    May d good lord give u a succes story soon, his joy comes in d morning but I pray yours is sooner. Wish u a more joyfull 2012.

  2. factorVI says:

    There is always a rainbow after the storm has gone…. May God comfort u.

  3. edgothboy says:

    May the Lord strengthen and keep. May sorrow depart from you and may joy overtake you. God bless you this new year.

  4. Ritzie says:

    May the Lord take away your pain, and may 2012 be better than you expect it to be.

  5. highlandblue says:

    Your name actually means the love of the Lord. I believe you will see that in your lifetime. 100%.

  6. Mz_Shadee says:

    Wow! And I thought I had a sad 2011. So sorry for ur losses, but I guess God has a reason for everything, May sadness, sorrows, tears be very far from you in the new year. Laugh is all u do, and if Efe does this challenge again next year, the only thing u’ll be sharing are testimonies and tales of unexplainable joy. 🙂

  7. 0latoxic says:

    Sometimes, situations push us to a place where we can’t but ask God “Why?!”, something noone can really answer us.

    And so we have only two choices left really, despair and hope. If after two attempts, you’re still here, it’s because you really want to and thus I believe you’ve chosen hope. God does not forget His own.

    You will smile again…

  8. aramaanda says:

    {{{HUGS}}} Wish I could really give you a hug…this isn’t the end of your story, dear

  9. Chicasa says:

    Wow! I can’t wait to hear the good twist of ur story. You will smile again. He will never leave you orphaned, he never forgets his own. *big hug.

    God bless you and cause you to smile in 2012

  10. malota says:

    It shall be well, dont give up

  11. Kemmiiii says:

    The Lord is your strength.

  12. hrh7 says:

    @the author, i’m so sorry for all your losses. I hope that 2012 was better. It’s always darkest before dawn

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