Day 22: Franque

So the term “unfinished business” just got real for Franque (@franque_521) this year…


Wander Year

When 2010 rolled to an end, I was left holding a skillet of unfinished business: I broke off my ‘engagement’ only to learn that I was getting a baby from that union.
Between then and the first quarter of 2011, I bounced about like my life was a pinball game. Like a subway, people came and people went, each touching my life and leaving a mark. I thought I knew what I sought, I hoped whatever it was I sought I would find. But when their time came they left, though not as anonymously as they came; they had names, they had faces, they gave of themselves and they took of me. Moulding, shaping, smoothening, leaving.

Then my son came, my one really bright spot in 2011, and I watched my life change again. I was a babyfather and thoughts of my boy never cease to bring a smile to my lips till this day – it never grows old. When things got really rough between his mother and me, I vowed that whatever else happened, I was going to be a good dad and teach him all he needs to know – as I learnt them myself for myself. Before then though, I had to go through a phase in my life, or at least cope with it. To help me cope I immersed myself in work.

In addition to flying, I had taken up writing. I buried myself in both things, drawing inspiration for one from the other, and strength to do the other from the one. One day I looked up and realised neither was exactly hugging back.
Together they made an awesome combination, both of them: writing was fun, flying was more fun, yet there was an emptiness, a cavern stretching deep into the core of my being, yawning and yearning to be bridged, to be filled.
Work presented me with opportunities to attempt to fill this void and I took them – with each aspect of my work-life came the women. I crawled in and out of bed with a few, and sat through movies with an even greater number. Each relationship was pursued with an earnest eagerness and catlike curiosity, each party searching for whatever it was they sought, and neither ever finding it. Soon enough with each one fires dimmed, the flames banked, something died or changed, and the cold stretch of emptiness returned.

I knew I should seek solace in my faith, I let myself be enfolded by soft warm flesh, wrapped in warm velvety smoothness – and they weren’t the saviour’s these embraces that engulfed me. Slowly, but surely I drifted from my faith, never losing it, just locking it away; pushing it farther and farther out of focus, quickly averting my gaze every time it popped up in my peripheral view.

Then I met two amazing women and everything fell into place. One is my anchor, the other my compass. Thanks to them I found my way and started a journey back to myself. It has been slow, and sometimes I even slide a few feet backwards or sideways. It has been a struggle and in some instances torturous, but from what I see, from how I feel, it has been worth it.

My family have always been there for me. They still are and I am thankful for them just as much as I am thankful to them. I am constantly making efforts to show them that I know, that I understand and that I appreciate.

Like most things in life, when you find your centre, things are put in better perspective and other aspects of life begin to fall into place, that is how it has been for me.

My baby mama got hitched, same as two others before her and so put paid to speculation about getting back together; the other ladies in my life got ditched, and so put paid to my philandering ways (okay, a work in progress).
I seek to make my peace with God, my fellow men and ultimately, myself.

So, in 2010 I lost my way and in 2011 I found a way, then I quickly lost myself. For the most part I walked about confused, ran around scared; I tried a lot of new stuff, did some unme things; I chased shadows and fought them too – my demons seemed that large. Now that I have found me again, I plan to stay on this path that has brought me here, resolutely trudging – the time for running around in circles has gone. These I plan to do as I run down 2011, I hope to keep at it as I wait for what 2012 brings with it.
Writing about this is the first step in that plan.

PS: 2012 is the year that I have decided to make an honest man of myself; it is the year when I will make conscious efforts to stay a two-woman man – no extras. I just hope that when they do read this, they will not both of them pack their bags and walk out of my life for if they do, then I may be well and truly lost.
I have wandered enough, I just want to come home.

I actually understand what I just read. This is a true young man’s tale. Thank you, Franque. Amy will be back on here tomorrow. Stick around 🙂


23 thoughts on “Day 22: Franque

  1. Nikruks says:

    Awwwwwww……..({})…….Lovely Frank! iLove you!!!

  2. Frankie, Frankie, Frankie! Can I call you Frankie? This new path of yours: a two-woman man? Surely there’s another path that can lead you home?

    I loved these analogies:
    I bounced about like my life was a pinball game. Like a subway, people came and people went, each touching my life and leaving a mark.

    And this:
    …when their time came they left, though not as anonymously as they came; they had names, they had faces, they gave of themselves and they took of me.

    • Considerin u posted the 1st comment, u can call me anythin u please. Frankie’s fyn, tho iWould rather Franque. As for that path, iWould be lyin if iSed there was/is another. 2 babes; a babe n a BB; a babe n PS3; a babe n twitter; a babe n writin; no babe n any two others… No other way.
      Glad u like(d) what u read. Bless ur heart.

  3. Bellushy says:

    Frank, best u start changing now n not wait 4 2012. My advice, just stick 2 d one here cos a ‘2-woman man’ will only lead u back 2 square one. Lost n running wild in d jungle.
    Cheers bro, changing ma ways too

  4. Mz_Shadee says:

    2 woman man kwa. Hian!
    Make that 3. I’m single and foursomes are my thang 😉

  5. Chicasa says:

    I have no comment Frank, ill comment when I see you. God bless you and ur son.

  6. Nicole -Asanwa says:

    I’m leaving Franque… Now u have just one woman :p

  7. Lorlah says:

    *sigh* Why two-Woman Man though??

  8. trinytta says:

    wow!..that”s all i can say. U right real good and it feels so real reading it.

    ……and thoughts of my boy never cease to bring a smile to my lips till this day – it never grows old…(awww! so beautiful!)
    Hope 2012 brings lots of good things into your life.

  9. highlandblue says:

    Ok so which of you young ladies is volunteering to change Franque for good?

  10. ibetapassmynebo says:

    IT’s only God that will help you
    Infact I hope they read this
    Such insolence. . .
    Looool See u in 2012 🙂 🙂

  11. mabijo says:

    “sat through movies with an even greater number. “, I can testify to this. Two women as Anchor and Compass,ehn? Hmmm…no comment

  12. nengie says:

    2 woman man???? Uncle Frankie!!!!!!!! Happy new year in advance and may it bring for you the very best life has to offer. Much luv

  13. Olaedo says:

    Good time for sober reflections, really.
    About being a two-woman man, I bet there’s more to that than how it sounds. I pray one of them remains THE one.
    Wishing you the best for the rest of the year and 2012. Merry Christmas!!

  14. Nono says:

    Haha! That was bold. If I were one of the women and I wasn’t aware of the other, be sure as hell I’d atleast be packing my toilet bag LOL! Happy you’ve sorta began to find ur way. 2012 brings hope and a lot more for a lot of us. I call it the year of right slots. We can only wait and see if all the pieces will indeed fit perfectly together. Beautifully written as always Franque. PS: what’s ur son’s name?? Absolutely adore babies :D.

  15. BumbleBee says:


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