For me, this piece reads almost like a manual on how to overcome depression. Hello Jennifer (@dzennypha) 🙂
2011 wasn’t particularly the best year of my life, but it would be the most memorable. With series of mishaps and what we would call “fuck-ups” all year round, I’d say the year made me the woman I am becoming.
For most parts of the year, waves of death hit my family. My family was breaking apart, and school work was upside down. Depression hit me bad and I lost my faith in God, I lost my friends and I was lost in my own mind. I carried on like this through mid year, mourning several people at different times and living a bitter life. Even after graduation, it got worse; I fell in and out of love, I was confused about my future. Even though it seemed like I had my life all figured out,I was far from sure of what I wanted to do. I cried on my pillow knight and day, I wore my equanimous face mask, I over-ate when I didn’t want to worry about stuff. At one point, it seemed like it got better, then my health struck.
I underwent different tests, diet plans and all to no avail. I got everyone worried with the fear of the unknown and through it all, I came out alive. Life will always hand you lemons, sometimes it may even be after a big blow, but I have come to the conclusion that when life hands you lemons, you should grasp them and get all the antioxidants you can get from them. (In biochemistry or general health science, antioxidants are stress relievers) Even in the worst situations, I’ve learnt to make a message out of my mess, to kick back whatever is kicking me. 2011 was my major transition into adulthood, I understood the business of making conscious choices.
I made brutal mistakes this year, said really hurtful things to the people that mattered the most, turned my back on myself, parents and even my creator but you know what? Whatever I had done in the past is done… For this,I came up with this quote,
“If I make mistakes, if I don’t quite hit the mark, I pray each evening for a do-over; I will get better with time”
Right now, I don’t live everyday like it’s my last anymore, I live like there’s a tomorrow to right my wrongs.
I learnt how to keep it real. I can never be ashamed of where I’m from and I will say my mind when I feel like saying it, A wise man once said, “say your mind or you’ll lose it” There were times when I needed to say things that I was holding back to my parents, they seemed hurtful but I had to let it out. People also need to know how you feel sometimes.
My best moments for 2011 were the opportunities I had to meet the people I have learnt to call friends now. I met people that could walk into my mind and spend hours trying to tidy up stuff in there. I felt my best when my friends gave me the opportunity to be there for them as well, even as messed up as I felt I was. A sense of belonging and worth always came when I could hear problems and attempt solving them. With these people I have been inspired in the oddest of ways, thanks to twitter most especially. I can’t go mentioning names, but you guys are the best, and Drake, always making me smile, always making me appreciate my simba-like eyebrows… . Please do not judge.
Finally, I’m excited about the coming year. I even hope for more challenges. I’m excited about my dreams, my plans and projects, trying in every way to give to the world. I’m excited about the relationship I’m gradually building with God.
Big thanks to Efe, for this opportunity to share my 2011 experiences with you guys.
Simba-like eyebrows though. Sighs. Frank will be with us tomorrow. Revelations of a wanderer… 😀