Day 13: Raiharnah

Need I introduce the seductive witch? (@rhaiharnah)

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Here goes.. My disjointed thoughts.. My 2011.
…..

1st Trimester..
A Personal promise to be better,do better.
Fresh ink for my pen,power flowed in my words. I was whole. I was Inspired.
Peace. Joy. Light
Then a darkness and death.
The light went out with a friend’s smile.
I lost him in a Shoot Out. My mentor,my personal Star. A victim of Life’s cruel way, of a system in ruins.
Confusion. Shock. Denial. Searing Pain.
My vision blurred by uncontrollable tears.
I felt for the first time the true meaning of loss. A huge part of me went down 6feet.
The beacon of hope dimmed that day.

2nd Trimester
Recuperating. Surviving.
I forgave death, I could rejoice for him now. I found strength in the art of others. In the dimple in my mothers smile. In the consoling touch of all of us grieving.
I found meaning in the jargon I pored over in my books.

In the spirit of a survivor, a Sphinx,her tiger blood. I found a sister. I found friendship.
Then Death came again for another of my Beloved,he wasn’t ready. Unscathed from the ruins of a Car squeezed beyond recognition. A miracle.
 I found myself smiling again.

3rd Trimester
Toil.
My brain shutdown for weeks.
Most Tortuous Terrain of my Career path.
I became slave to caffeine,to sleep.
Hungry. Battered. Beaten by the pouring rain.
Mentally whipped by grades that didn’t match.
Tasked beyond imagination,beyond reason
I found Knowledge in my niche amidst priceless friends. We found success together. Made the colours fly together.

Then again..
A long break and longer hours of reflection..
Stripped to my skin by my conscience..I went into a voluntary rehab,A spiritual awakening.
I found unconditional love at home…where my family gave and gave..only asked that I stay alive.
I found that Love IS Motherhood. Her gentle words are my reason. My fulfilment.
I found Divine guidance in my Tasbh(Rosary) ,each bead a blessing. In the unfathomable Mercy of the Most-High.
I learnt sacrifice.
I found purity. Of Body,of mind,of Soul.

4th Trimester..
Contentment.
Words were again my compass… They led me. I found gold.
I experienced the Gift of Giving..
I learnt to take equally and keep in trust..
I found happiness.. The kind that conquers, the kind that fills the heart to the brim.
I got brave enough to bare my scars,to get new ones. My medals.
I found hurt. I felt pain and still an overwhelming love.
I found that the Experience is in the fleeting moments….and that Life IS the element of surprise when its least expected.

I remain.
Warrior. Survivor. Woman. Strong.

#Blessed Be..

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I felt like completing that last line so much… Regular scheduling resumes tomorrow at noon with Kovie 😀  Don’t carry last

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19 thoughts on “Day 13: Raiharnah

  1. Pha't says:

    Awwww Ray i totally caught that.. Love u too alter sis.. Lovely

  2. The ‘disjointedness’ of the thoughts could scarcely mask the ingenuity of the sentence formations…beautifully written 🙂

  3. joeyparker says:

    Breathe. In. Out. In. Out again.
    See?
    We are still here.
    Blessed be…

  4. 'Dania says:

    This reads so well. So so well.

  5. tobicomm says:

    But people can write oh. This is just awesome.

  6. Mohnah says:

    Your last 3 lines…
    May you have a better 2012.

  7. 0latoxic says:

    MY Rhai’s pen is what I love the most about her.
    Her pen, the extension of her heart.
    Her heart an extension of mine…

  8. raihanah says:

    ^_^ …

    The LOVe!! 😀

  9. krimmedic says:

    This is really great.
    I hardly know any of you bloggers,but I know when I need to brag about Nigerians,you guys make the list.
    All the writers on this 30day challenge thing have been awesome.

  10. PreyingMantis says:

    Day 13 sticks out like a sore thumb.

    Different.

  11. awizii says:

    You are amazing.

  12. Isysart says:

    This is beautiful…

  13. @Sisi_Yemmie says:

    “I remain.
    Warrior. Survivor. Woman. Strong.”….sums it for right now!

  14. Kemmiiii says:

    AWW! Awesome! This is different!

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