Day 4: Moyo

Moyo (@MazeDaMouth) views the highs and lows of 2011 in terms of goals achieved or not. I find it inspires me to work harder in the new year. Enjoy.

Cool Stories of 2011.

This Blog post is filled with a lot of “Cool Story Bro” details. In fact everything is one “Cool Story Bro” tirade. I won’t be surprised if that is the only comment this gets. Don’t judge my writing skills by this. I have final exams coming up in 2 days. Here goes. I was supposed to stop drinking coca cola this year. I didn’t. I was supposed to grow a “six pack” and biceps this year. I didn’t. I was supposed to learn French this year. I didn’t. I was supposed to learn fully about investment, stocks, bonds, derivatives and arbitrages, I didn’t. I was supposed to mend fences with everyone I had offended or who had offended me. I didn’t. I tried competing for Don Jazzy’s Enigma Beat Contest, I didn’t win (apparently Don Jazzy somehow believes D’prince is better than I am. Yes!! I am burnt. I made sick lines like “Rapping is anaemic, only the sick’ll sell” but of course lines like D’prince’s “it is colorful and bright like we live in the moon” were better than my lines. ) I was supposed to be impressed by the Nigerian BET cypher. I wasn’t, totally. “My bars are like fish?” Ok. I was supposed to grow an afro, but my hair has refused to grow. It’s kind of shy.

I was supposed to start cooking. I did. I made a splendid Ogbono soup with Pounded Yam. I was supposed to start a blog. I did. Check. I was supposed to get a twitter account. I did. Follow me if you please. Met a lot of cool people on that site, won’t name names. This is about me. I lost my Grandmum this year, and that made me sad. I know it’s almost futile to gild mourning with words, yet I wish to take from the grave, its fear. If you lost someone this year, be strong. It’s not easy. School and work, forced celibacy on me, too many Crushes, but I couldn’t quench the thirst as much as my member wanted. It’s all good though. At some point this year, I thought I had brain cancer because I kept having blazing headaches. I realized that all I needed to do was sleep. Sleep as much as you can. It’s good for you.

2011 had a lot of plans. We set up plans and you may have achieved all or some of them, and in some cases, none. God sees all. On a lighter random note, I started watching “Suits” this year, awesome show. I want to be like Harvey Specter. I listened to good songs this year. A couple albums, I heard this year: Watch the Throne, Sideline Story, Ambition, Take Care, others and a lot of random songs. I made some songs this year, you’ll hear them soon enough.  I worked for ConocoPhillips, a US fortune 500 company, this year. I threw a party with two of my best friends. We called it “Trois Rois”. I am tired of 2011, bring on 2012. I survived Harold Camping. Let me go face the Mayans. See you on the other side.

Tomorrow we welcome the Gidi Mallam Femi to the parade. You know the drill. Subscribe and guarantee your entertainment. 🙂


16 thoughts on “Day 4: Moyo

  1. Jael says:

    You sing?

  2. joeyparker says:

    Your blog is beautiful. Timeless. Yes, bring on 2012!

  3. edgothboy says:

    Funny and somewhat remorseful. But mostly funny. I needed that laugh. LOL! Sorry about your grandma though.

  4. weird_oo says:

    “I survived Harold Camping. Let me go face the Mayans.” <- lmao!

  5. Cool story, bro! 😛

    What?! I don’t like to disappoint…was a fresh & breezy read 🙂

  6. Mz_Shadee says:

    Lmao. I like this…really do 🙂

  7. MsDuro says:

    i love the way you laced your write up with humour. i really like and enjoyed your post.

  8. thatifygirl says:

    Sorry about your grandma.
    Nice bars there too. 🙂

  9. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Loool very cool “Stories” indeed. . .

  10. 0latoxic says:

    Great post.

    I am honestly overwhelmed by your intelligence and how you blend it with wit and art. Very few people can pull that off.

    The perspective from which you wrote this post *nods head in deep satisfaction*.

  11. ThinkTank! says:

    Cool Story, Bro.

    Cryogenic Chronicle, Brother.

    Frigid Narrative Brethren.

    Frosty Apologue, Bruv.

    Refrigerated Tale, Bruh.

  12. awizii says:

    Moyo is a cool person, and this is a cool story for all the right reasons.

  13. MzSwitz says:

    I know this is late, but I totally connected with this on a different level. It’s nice. Love your style of writing. 🙂

  14. Kemmiiii says:

    “I survived Harold Camping. Let me go face the Mayans.” I love this line…
    lol @ThinkTank’s comment

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