Letter From Rehab

Ah yes. Love unreturned….

=====================================================================================

Sometimes we want the truth…but most times we run away from it

Sometimes we take extra caution but in the end…careless mistakes

And I keep wondering why I am talking about “WE” when I am the one concerned

Now I am in a deep tunnel…it is dark…gloomy…frightening…I put myself in there by my own reckless abandon….and the consequences of my own action is leading to my destruction…

It was supposed to be a ‘P’…..simple…a summer P to be precise

I had shut down all my senses to Love as it was obvious I was never going to be in that position.

He was young, refreshing, vibrant, cool……..charming

He knew all the right things to say at the right time

He totally had me….from thousands of miles away

He was that guy that I felt that instant connection with

He had a strong personality…by my standard, he was close to perfect

He was a 9.5…since no one is perfect, a 10 would be biased

It was continuous days of chats…then calls…then more chats…text messages…calls…chats…all night chats

then I saw myself falling in love…he had it…he was it…i could not help it

I laugh..why?…he is a huge Flirt…he can flirt for Australia

I got caught up…I told him I loved him and I got the most surprising reply ever

He said “I am sorry but I can’t tell you I love you just because you want to hear it….i really like you but I would rather not hurt you with a lie”

I was mad…irrational and flipped out

He was protecting me…I did not know

We stayed apart for a few days…I missed him so badly

I picked up the phone and called him

And the pattern started again..calls…chats…calls..chats…

One day, I woke up, to discover things were not the same

He became too busy to call, chat or even respond to my missed calls

It was either this or that…I was confused…I didn’t know what to think

I watched the closeness strained…but then discovered he was on to someone else

She is cute, sexy and admired by a lot of guys and girls I must add

I could not stand it…I could not help me…I became suicidal

I called him…he claimed I was inconsistent…silly excuse

All I could think of at that moment was….”IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A P”

——————————————————————————————————————————————————–

And then….. SNAPPED

It was like a scene from trauma…confusion…panic…race to save my life

A mix of Vodka and good weed…and 4 stab wounds to my body..every one for the letters of his name

My almost lifeless body was found by my father

They took away my phones and laptop and my mentor was called

And my 7th visit to my counselor (a psychologist) was booked

One week there has been hell…that I have to go through this again

But it is for my own good…for my own future and because I still want to be alive

What was I thinking??? Don’t blame me for he was a 9.5

Sometimes we want what we do not need…sometimes we want to have it all

And here I am again….back to “WE”…My case is one of special deliverance

I was able to write this… as it is part of the exercise for my evaluation

All I need right now….is a warm hug and prayers of course.

 

Is love worth all the trouble?

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27 thoughts on “Letter From Rehab

  1. Nerdy says:

    Absolutely not!

  2. bimbo says:

    As in heeeeelllllll no!

  3. awizii says:

    Sadly, easy to say. So easy, I laugh. It’s not, but do you really believe that?

  4. phantompages says:

    Is love worth the trouble? No. One can only try their best before giving up. No sense beating a dead horse. I do see a bit of my ‘old’ self portrayed in one of the characters. Not the female I’m afraid. Is that good or bad? :s

  5. dr.lois says:

    Love things… ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯
    This entire plot sounds too familiar

  6. Adati says:

    Based on Hasty Generalization: It is I guess, I mean so many both deranged and sane people out there committing crimes of Love, makes you think it was all worth it.

  7. Kemmiiii says:

    Hian!! No o!! Mbanu!!

  8. highlandblue says:

    The urge to destroy the world is so present when love is unreturned. How does something so beautiful turn into something so ugly? It’s almost like a dragon emerging from a butterfly. *shrugs* This world is always a mystery… Thanks for your comments guys. I chose to let the author of this piece remain anonymous.

  9. Unjinxt says:

    OMFG!! This shit is too good mahn!! Wow!! And I think love is worth it all! Love is a beautiful thing and it won’t be as beautiful as it is if it was easy to come by!

  10. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Hian. . .LOOOOOOL

  11. Mz_Shadee says:

    Oh woooooow. This almost happened to me early this year o. I’m glad I was able to get a grip early enough. It could have been really really bad.
    Love is worth d trouble and more, u just have to use ur head at all times, put ur heart half way for your own peace of mind! I learnt this in my last relationship.
    BIG BIG HUG sweetie.

  12. missbeemuse says:

    HELL NO!

    No matter how hard it is,the best way to deal with unreturned love is to move on.

  13. raihanah says:

    Love does all kinds of things…

    But what are we to love with of we end the life that gives us love??

    Its a twisted world.. *sigh*

    The strength to move on is important..and the will to survive…

    There’s many faces for this..

  14. Nimi says:

    Love is not selfish meaning it doesn’t matter if it is unreturned. So yes, love is worth it. Beautiful writing btw.

  15. Kelvin says:

    *walks in, reads, walks out*

  16. Titanium says:

    No. Hell to the N-O.

  17. Wow. Beautiful. And yes, love is worth the trouble.

    Y’all just say No because you haven’t felt true love.

  18. Ekwe says:

    story could have just ended at “IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A P” and wud have still been nice.

    no pity here. who proclaims love nowadays after only chatting and calling? nollywood tinz. bleh. die in the hospital jor! lol
    -_____-

  19. I’m gonna try to be subtle with my comments.
    No 1) This is not love. 2) How dare you try to end your life over something as ‘flimsy’ as a fantasy? What about all the good people who love you, siblings, parents, friends… Decision to end it all was cowardly, selfish and incredibly stupid. 3)There are 6 billion people in this world. At least 2 billion of those are men. I’m absolutely sure there are better men out there so I’ll still blame you if you say he’s a ‘9.5’… (I don’t even believe you) Wake up and smell the coffee B, this reeks of insecurity. You are beautiful and there are people who love you out here.
    Don’t be such a weiist. I’m glad this is a ve step in the recovery process. We’ll pray for you.

    *i hope against hope that this post is fictional*

  20. Chinelo says:

    The “evil” inherent in unrequited love *sigh* u’ll be fine dont worry…

  21. isetfiretotherain says:

    😦 how sad. I’m too selfish to attempt ending my life for a man…maybe a woman should try.

    Different strokes for different folks, we are all mentally imbalanced in some way or the other.

  22. Honey_wealth says:

    Never been in love so i wouldn’t know.

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